Sunday, September 22, 2024

mmmmcdlxix

Things That May Cause Panic

I’m that guy who always
wants to preface these
things by mentioning that
this isn’t a cry for help.
But don’t most of us cry
on some sort of regular
basis? I can’t begin to tell
you just how much I am loving
the new season of ___________.
Or that new show, what’s it called,
_______? I watch stand-up comedy
specials quite often and laugh so 
hard that I cry. (I imagine one cannot 
generally tell the difference between
when I am meandering or when in my
mind I’m weaving my way to some
logical point.) But last night I watched
_______________, and it wasn’t
funny at all. In fact, I found it
harsh. Everyone has a different
harsh barometer, right? Do you
ever think about what that device
might tell you about a person? I do.
Let’s say you are a member of one of 
the generations that won’t allow you to
publicly (and/or 
I do more than wonder,
privately) pigeonhole but that barometer, 
working as it does to build a forecast—can 
most of us agree on this?—will provide
hints. In dangerous times, a hint
might be all you need, could be
all you get. I’ve no idea why I
dwell on such things because
I’d never use it to run like
hell, to do the Darwinian
thing. Although there are
things that make me jump.
And when I do it’s hard to
narrate what is going on in
my head, or else it’s scaredy-
cat easy.  There is no life flashing 
before my eyes, something I save 
for more private or quiet times, like 
this one, but instead I do think this 
is it!, and I’ve had many such
fight or flight moments. These
seem to usually involve one
of the following: very loud
noises, physical instability
such as the movement of
the floor or ground beneath
me or a faint-headed dizziness,
or the sensation that I’m having
a heart-attack, am all but critically
certain of it. By the way, every time 
I have experienced that last one 
it has turned out to 100% be
indigestion.

relaxing at the Chamberlain, West Hollywood