Monday, October 31, 2005

lxx

a long time under flying saucers.
later we still got glow behind
the waterfalls. went immediately
to the French big dog #340 and
also got with its glue. there was
lots of jazz. I tasted your make-up.
pretty cool. it was nuclear.
Saturday was the best. fourteen
years we danced. and at the
Cajun restaurant I’d keep the
sweat from dripping down your
ribs. a whole lot of time in Salem.
thirty-five years of lights. it was
very loud. I proceeded to lose
my new fleece gloves and threw
a telephone up to the stars.


first published in getunderground.com

Friday, October 28, 2005

lxix

boy, what drugged out kids
the scene I always appreciated, huh?

cruise control
problem is you can find anyone you want

I didn’t have the heart to tell him
I wasn’t too keen on Starbucks

Teevee von Toast
that behind-closed-doors avant action

I bought a cheap & very loud
orange polyester pullover

with navy epaulets


first published in getunderground.com

Thursday, October 27, 2005

lxviii

rejoice I worked so hard this week
even the staid birds done gone
frightened by the copters
other’n that and squabbling with
the men who fear
    Mauricio’s

let them see their music high in that
book I’ve already read    whatsit?
like lush leopards who crash against
the window that is usually just lashed
    by the puffity wind

here he is    he’s from Colombia
and on a Saturday night to boot
first a couple a pelicans wanted to do coffee
’n heard Ezra slur “hath no blood o’ crimson?”
they were very studied     seemed better than
    Ross’s crew

we quite deftly spluttered
“death to such sluts”
which I’ve got to factor into office politics
and the people who actually want to kiss my
    dire ass

oh to be very thin
I say this because it’s so pretty to me
even when nobody’s flirty
nowhere
ah the heartblocked life
    o’ the new kid

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

lxvii

come on over here
I’m gettin kinda hungry
and wanna eat

all I had today was biscotti on a fresh bird
did I dug it?
yeah, like I talked and flirted

this endless part of me hasn’t
hit me yet
it’s all the cats and lions and

dogs in the south end
they’re really doin’ somethin’
and I’m not

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

lxvi

I lost it through my fingers



there was a time

that love will keep us

and then there was nothing

**

you measured my hand because

it plays the piano because

things turn out so good

and something started

**

on the way back we

lost power for a while

and froze

**

I watched a movie

got all emotional and

walked into the bedroom

and cried and cried

after a while you found me

and told me don’t weep

**

the trainride was 16 hours

Monday, October 24, 2005

lxv

u may not have no idea

I had plastic surgery

maybe south maybe japan

it was at a mexican restaurant

I myself will be so sad

some nice guy mostly bombay

if I lose my hopes being here

in the blink of an eye

also there are loud but funny

don’t worry in the least I am here

by the end of

Friday, October 21, 2005

lxiv

people are either sleepy or gay

a coffee pushes the right button

finds NEW BOOKS reinforce

confidence and makes me feel

no call tomorrow no Saturday night

instead I went to sex-a-lot

aimlessly I mean

remove me I can’t drink anymore of this

to get me dizzy

very happy 20 yrs

as we have had some

at a Neiman Marcus

Thursday, October 20, 2005

lxiii

I was dancing at 9:30am
not flying to Florida in tercets
reading fanzines
inside my blue pants
two-three days floored
so grouchy with no
long-term mercy
did he apologize via e-mail
nope
I know this makes no sense
I’ve been wondering
why so many youths and yet
no carrot cake
I write a few letters
now it’s the point at which
I pick up the pink duster
you’d think he’d have
sent me a message by now
listening to a Russian
hummingbird over that tree
like the helicopters over the
anti-war rally last weekend
I was there
make no bones about it
it’s cloudy now and
just when he decides
that he loves me there’s
too much cigarette smoke

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

lxii

I’m not even sure if I spelled my state right
it’s an exciting life anyway
drinking water out of a bowl

doing a thousand things at once
which is what I like
just ask this rankled cop

I still have the little red towel
and am now celebrating 5 whole months
but I’m not even sure if I’m really here

the kitty box was cleaned inside the bathtub
I guess I know where I am
every once in a while

the shades go down
and I pop an analgesic
this incredible surge that gives me

an uncontrollable laugh
reading Amy Lowell
as the rain beats my heart

I need to get a job with creative juices
buy a new poster for the wall
I have no money

did you meet my new boyfriend
finally waking up
this time he’s blue on top

and full of compassion
quiet in the sense of a falling leaf

                        it’s time to go to the bank
                        and buy an answering machine

I live at 253 Lamartine Street
my new phone number is (617) 524-8701

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

lxi

sleepy reading
after dishwashing
quite a mess
Wednesday
or this is what
Thursday is
somewhere

during the movie
I had an epiphany
a dime a dozen
but couldn’t wait
anyway I’d head
tree-blown
to Boston
which is Tuesday

he wakes me up
financially as if
a dream
we’re locked
arm-in-arm
I live here
next to my cat
in the year 1997

Monday, October 17, 2005

lx

it’s nice in winter

been drivin’ what seems forever

just ask the patron saint of the internet

in defense of the car killing case

I’d like a scram slam

can you believe I’m moving to Boston

where a postal worker was released

he’s such a prick a pecan pie a hijacked truck

and a woman on trial

accused of running after a whole slice

that’s the art to bird-watching

out the glass-like window

to where I always used to pump gas

but not anymore

when I told him I was laid off

it was a one-two punch for investors

the psychiatrists worked overtime

I’m messing up

fuck this

and it’s gonna take a miracle

Friday, October 14, 2005

lix

who therefore is not agnostic
surely everyone is    drink water
look at the bay from the 28th floor
this I hope will get me out of Toledo
I just have to be smart    read poetry
schedule meeting regarding
intellectual property
to defeat love
I must be very pleasant
just admit I have the stability
sip coffee     look up time on telephone’s
LCD panel    put letter opener back
I already know him from the carrel
he’s the bartender at Rocky’s
mousepad uneven
look up at my mint-new penchant
he’s standing in front of Klamath Falls
tacked to the pegboard next to my computer
with Big Apple tack
sticky note says office space
if possible
add’l invitees
mtg goals
we also talked with a congressman
on being observant
I’m artsy
reserved
intelligent
should I go Christmas shopping
the waving of the white flag
anything to take me away

Thursday, October 13, 2005

lviii

Chalk it up to experience or to
an exceptional gift for flattening things.
I’m at the Gypsy Cafe and my mind is
not my favorite song.
I wouldn’t object to a little remorse;
it’s to be downright expected but,
in fact, I’m literally weeping from a burst
of traditional matter (having parked
behind the house by the kitchen entrance –
of our old apartment on Catherine).
It was so full of endless possibilities,
pink and cream roses splayed against
an old brick wall, snow pittering
into the recycle bins, old movies at our
noses in the slim living room, some brown birds
flying in through the open windows,
mesmeric sex in the,
soft skin of....
For revenge, I’m leaning toward
the idea of Boston.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

lvii

just for the record
I’m eating tuna
over Paul Hoover
let’s write down
this message
“half a box of donuts”
I’m a complete jerk
and a complete asshole
“it’s dark, you know?”
and I’m totally sorry
and I guess it was all
a big shock
“no more birds today”
I just wanted you to know
and I really do
want us
to spend some time

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

lvi

hello dear innocent
I’ve a feeling
a little of
being in love
for me to admit
like cake
like Prozac
is both help
I agree with people
your sentiments
it’s hard for me
to admit
I drink more coffee
than things are ok
more bundt cake
more doldrums
self-deprecating
to learn all there is
in 3 or 4 weeks
and start over again
makes me better
more stable
in the moment
onions and tomatoes
a caramel apple
with nuts
I would love
to know you
in the snow
falling down
on the job
let me finish    let’s
just spend
the night
together

tomorrow night?

Monday, October 10, 2005

lv

I’m at the Clarion Hotel in Cleveland
where I’ve flexed my muscles for a bit.

You’d think I lived here.

To be more precise, I’ve been
on the phone a couple or three miles.

It’s silly to pay $60 a month just to do that.

‘You sound really hot.’ ‘Thank you for your
response to my ad.’

Omigod the food at this little restaurant is awesome!

There’s a lonely dove sitting on a branch,
and my hot bread,
baked in a flower pot.

Friday, October 07, 2005

liv

There was the fact that he
had been disengaged. That
he was in love with
someone else.
That the laundry was on.
That I hadn’t written any of this.
That the vacation
had just whizzed by. That I was
out of breath from six flights.

This is not a justification of any
kind. It’s been nice, all in all.
I’ve just sort of grown to
accept it.

Clouds deepening, a quiet
I’m not used to. Clothes
into the dryer. I tried calling
the number at 1110 N. Monroe
and it had been disconnected.
Humidity unbelievable.

Now I bet he was right,
although I am a bit curious.
According to what I’ve heard,
he’d been talking about splitting.

A pink box sits on the
third shelf up from
the bottom. Underneath
the pajamas. I wonder
what’s in it, though I
already know; I know
what an experiment this
life can be.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

liii

It’s a dreary day in Arkansas

after the swapmeet

a motorcycle bangs

into the birds’ coffee

at Creekmore Park

I’m settling into

soup from Quetzal

clouds I drove

the night with

olive trees all day

Saturday and

sleepy Charleston

the catty cat’s

napping on a tartan

out the bay windows

a chalk-shot spire

yep that cloudy

the curtains sashay

suggesting exhalations

into the melancholy courtyard

I want a productive

yet relaxful accent

I sure don’t feel like writing

but having my

face hairs trimmed

my love concurs

until I’m spruced

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

lii

He slept over a second time
my place my new bed
then sitting at McDonald’s
waiting for lunch

I got up at eleven
let him sleep and made coffee
haven’t even got to play
because I’m working so hard

I crack the blinds
soak in blue
last night I talked for $125
they are so nice

my new Pentium computer
I built until 10pm
we got out of the movie
and talked about Miss Universe

where the birds are this
beautiful day I do not know
I am so broke
and unbelievably stable

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

li

during a seminar on the
internet last night these thick
voiceboxes or whomever
were incredibly close to smoking
the cigarette of my lead-laden love
I thought I was in Cleveland
but the plaid-shirted man said
“endanger your success!”
this big news for another day
is just what I wanted
I assemble church bells
and bang them just about to
within the dim fullness
of the moon’s breath
yesterday he exhaled into my
ears and basically said that
I’m not meeting any of the
goals and objectives
that had been laid for me
so I open the booklet of shame
and spew any confidence
that I can perform into the
bell-ridden night
look at the pink bay grow
indigo under the bluer bridge
that’s starting to sparkle
so okay I’m a scapegoat
I have to ride out this rodeo
but it’s time for me to live
this could just be
the shot in the arm
that I never...

Monday, October 03, 2005

l

The dustbunnies are
chasing the cat around
underneath the table.

I recruit
a pink quilted towel
and a Windex bottle.

He calls a few minutes later
and then
blows up

under the
green mattress
with all of the animals.

I’m a little spooked
(down below I’m
damned frustrated).

Yesterday
at the office
my mug full of pens

moved from one side of my desk
to the
other side of my desk.

Very expressive.
Like they had some sort of
path to follow.