Saturday, November 22, 2014

mmcclxxx

chicken mouth vs. onion mouth

his big problem is
he lives in fear of
being embarrassed.

home by around 10.
sick ever since.  my
nose runs.  i am so

boring.  perhaps i
go home?         .....
next day, feeling

much better.  lunch
with erin at gaylord.
i wish i were just

frolicking around
the city aimlessly.
wouldn’t it be fun?

later in the evening,
tasting indian food
from hours ago, i’m

about to trust a com
plete stranger to pick
up & fix my laptop.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

mmcclxxix

less willow
more buffy
sounds beau
tiful.  i roll
over & go
back to
sleep.
think
good
thoughts
as much as
they can be
thunk.  the
first thing
to do is to
let perfection
go.  at least a
little.  why is
my heart so
healthy?
nighty
night
for 
now.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

mmcclxxviii

Sad Clown

Here I am,
a sad clown.

No better
way to
put it.


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

mmcclxxvii

That the poem is a toy
with the structure of insomnia.
                           —Norma Cole

Even as I write
I am falling asleep.
Reminders of all the
things I need to do
keep cropping up,
yet I cannot stay
awake (even as
my mood drifts
downward again).
This morning I got
some nice little
punches.  And
later, lunch with
Otto at Power
Source (it says
here “next door;
was good”).
Carolyn says
Suzy has
esophageal
cancer.  Terminal.
How long now
has she lived
terminally ill?
It seems a long
time.  Well....
Highlights of
the weekend:
saw Match Point
by myself.  Ex-
cruciating.  Gym:
4.3 miles at 6.5 mph
constant.  And later,
again with Otto,
we step out to
Mezzanine for
the Matinee.

Monday, November 17, 2014

mmcclxxvi

Tonight is movie night.
We’re doing it monthly
this “semester,” so
besides the one while
Mom was here, it’s the
second movie night of
the year.  Counting
everything.

A grump I am again.
What a rollercoaster.
Last night all good,
now this.  Arguing
all morning over
Strawberry Banana
Odwalla.  I miss
Fresh Samantha.

Later, home via cab,
what a drag I am.
Remembering Ikiru
(Kurasawa) and the
plums on top of
the seasoned rice.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

mmcclxxv

The newest stuff I’ve downloaded

Then, mumbly
with Otto
doing his first
online class –
I watched
some – it’s an
art history
class which
looks fun.
Spacing out
while the data-
base repairs it-
self.  Then zzz.
Today, I do feel
ever so much
better.  Work
gets me down
sometimes –
it’s so droll.
But I’m ok.
I should make
better of it.
There are so
many movies
I want to see.
I have made a
big list.  The
Oscar nom-
inations just
in, Brokeback
Mountain
get-
ting the ex-
pected brunt.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

mmcclxxiv

My early years were cold.
                  —Maureen Thorson

I might say the same,
but I grew up in
Arkansas. We had
occasional snow

(e.g., during most
every Boy Scout
camp-out in which
I participated), but

summers were
hot and humid.
I suppose what
I mean by Ms.

Thorson’s quote
is that I was a
late bloomer.  I
somehow rode

my way through
school “book-
smart,” but with
no realization.

Or so it seems
from this angle.
Now?  What do
I realize?  Let’s

see—thank
heavens yes-
terday is done!
     —Happily

propped up
on the city
of no air
conditioning.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

mmcclxxiii

He lived in the restive staccato
Of memorabilia.
                     —Maureen Thorson

I hate work.

What would
make me be
okay with work?

That’s not entirely
true.  Anxious?
I’m in a pretty

lousy mood.  Plus,
I want purpose
(porpoise!),

something to
devote myself
to (time & energy)

from which I can
gain reward,
triumph.

That’s a nice word.
Rain doesn’t help.
I just want my 

(heart back.) 
laptop fixed. 
I don’t really 

mind work.  
I do it daily.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

mmcclxxii

While Home Alone & With It Raining Heavily

Heavy rain, starting with
Friday night.  Went to see
Mars Rover at the IMAX
with Yuki; one of the
strangest things I have
ever done with him, and
on that level, delightful.

(I have really missed
Otto this weekend.)

Anyway, after the
movie, we made our
way to Sparky’s
for dinner and good
conversation, then
our separate ways.
I to bed rather early
and then up early
on Saturday to
the gym—Embar-
cadero—after
Sutter Stockton
Starbucks.  But
my gym was

flooded, so I
detour to the
Tenderloin Y,
run two miles.

Monday, November 10, 2014

mmcclxxi

I remember trying to figure out what it’s all about.  (Life.)
                                                                  —Joe Brainard

I learned a few things,
had a nice time this
weekend and, all-
in-all, was just
bored solid
yesterday
afternoon.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

mmcclxx

Awaiting lunch.

Last night, I
danced for
3 hours with
the Comma
and his room-
mate.  The
Question Mark
was there, even
though he said
he wouldn’t be,
“Because it is
so boing!”
Right?  I
notice now
that he called
this morning
at 5:30am.  I
apparently
didn’t hear
the phone.
My lunch-
mate, Semi-
colon, says
that this is
probably
fortunate.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

mmcclxix

It takes you so long to apologize
                                —Tim Dlugos

I am particularly boring
these last few years.  We
order some green stuff,
stay only a few minutes
because he’s got a dot-
com interview on Mon-
day that sounds promis-
ing.  And

Dude had a date last night. 
Then Otto and I watched
a million episodes of
Naruto
whilst eating
our din-din.  Many
episodes, four or five, I
think.  Then to bed where
I dreamed about zombies.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

mmcclxviii

                                   i hold your hand
       because i thought you loved me;
       those games are better left
       for the sane.
                                —John Thomson

Do you know how I can tell
that you are very concerned?
That’s the spirit.  Enmeshed
within (or upon) your web,

I try every sticky angle.
The spirits do assess.
I am told that a goblin
once laughed a melan-

choly laugh upon (or
over) my travails.  With
tail tucked inward I heave
and weep childishly in hopes,

in heaven’s hopes, to un-
secure the spider’s hold.

Monday, October 27, 2014

mmcclxvii

Failure is the offshoot of argument—but then failure occurs too from a
                 lack of it
                                                                                 —Lyn Hejinian

Being a media consultant
is hard work.  I wake up
ready to engage.  The
media are already on
my lap.  I cradle and
they coo and then
I’m off to consulting.

For lunch, I eat a
can of beans and a
fresh salad (usually
Caesar’s).  And then
it’s back to consulting.

Dinner comes too late,
and all too oft without
a date.  I go to bed
sad and sleepless.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

mmcclxvi

The Two Thieves

It seems that we’ve
stolen and stolen
from each other in such
deep and beautiful ways.

For example, I always
awaken to the most
wonderful sky filled
with white fluffy pillows.

For example, I awaken
to darkness, a resplendent
darkness because you’re
using me as your fluffy pillow.

Always on the run, often
kleptomaniacal, we glisten
over one magazine or the
other, taking snapshots in our heads.

These get developed, blown-
up, inevitably, by strange
and divergent processes that
neither quite gleans from the other.




Saturday, October 25, 2014

mmcclxv

              Every time you try to write 
          the truth it changes.
      —Stephanie Young

     and then
     it was
     night.


     but
     what
     a beaut-
     iful outspok-
     en moon shone
     clear through it.


             More happens.
                —Stephanie Young



Friday, October 24, 2014

mmcclxiv

Unbuttoned Triceratops..

or that’s what it says right
here on the last page of
writing in this undated
notebook.  Clearly it’s
my writing.  And it can’t
have been forever ago.

And furthermore, 
that would, you’d
think, be quite the
memorable title for
a poem.  What follows—
the supposed body of
the piece called “Un-
buttoned Triceratops”
—is pretty good, too.
Simply:

     Scratching two items off the list, I
     lift my arms.

Well, if I did eventually
type it up to include in
here, I could fairly eas-
ily find it behind this
page somewhere, un-
der whatever roman
numeral.  But I cert-
ainly don’t remember
it.  Which is too bad,
too.  Because this
spoils everything.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

mmcclxiii

No words here.  Like I am at least
bubbling over with excitement.
That is, as I battle it out with
someone who was probably
born during the bicentennial
and whose screen name has
allusions to an early Hall &
Oates song (they, too, are
from the U.S.A.).

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

mmcclxii

Open your mouth say what you think you might mean
                                                               —Alli Warren

I wish.  I mean I do
but the voice trans-
criber always fucks
things up.  What is
that smell that just
became our apart-
ment?  “Could you
drop by professionally?”
I ask.  To which I get no
response.  Round over.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

mmcclxi

How useful was this page?
                  —Patrick F. Durgin

Who decides
which benefits
are positive?

Monday, October 20, 2014

mmcclx

slower production

he drew
his head
upon the
page

while
dancing
under-
cover


Sunday, October 19, 2014

mmcclix

found (3)

play head:        beginning
           
             animate
             in a flash

             one per
             layer

tween:                shape


Saturday, October 18, 2014

mmcclviii

whitney houston athens burning

          is your boyfriend as wasted as mine?
                                               —Alli Warren

just so that some schmuck who’s
googled whitney houston turns up,
eyes double-blinking, here.  imagining
the elegant rhyme of schmuck with
the wonderful title a duck is a duck.
Or whichever lagoon is richest.  Or 
wherever the lugume is itchiest.
Oops, they just served a pork
tenderloin on CNN.


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

mmcclvii

          Illusions of Motion

          kerning
          jacking
          subscript
          tracking
          pull bones
          superscript

or ... Allusions to Emotion?


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

mmcclvi

found (2)

Stop        People         Thought

                                      Bubbles

Monday, October 13, 2014

mmcclv

Without trying
to make funny
out of it, neither

drowning out my
sorrows or dry-
ing off my face/

drowning in
my face
or...

Was he
literally
speaking

about
reality? 
Reality?

I imagine it so,
now.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

mmccliv

the alley’s a self-conscious mews, and suddenly the Muse is off
to Yaddo.
                                                                      —Tim Dlugos

“It’s more real then yours,” he said,
and I wrote it down because I couldn’t
even listen, much less understand.  I,

plugging up my eyes—and not just to
drum up any sentiment—was think-
ing, “I—will—never—go—dancing—

again!”  Later, I changed the filters
and installed a new showerhead.
What was he saying?  What could

he have possibly meant?  What
was he doing?  I remember him
saying that, and that alone.  And

I remember writing it down.
...  And look, here’s proof.


                                       [see graphic]

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

mmccliii

found (1)

     -exchange of exhibition

     -how i got there

     -what i really feel like doing

                                       [see graphic]


Tuesday, October 07, 2014

mmcclii

Did you summarize?

Did you summarize?
Did you make it clear
what is the problem?

Monday, October 06, 2014

mmccli

Any idea is at its best when it liberates.
                                    —Maya Angelou

It was
an idea.

It was
just
an
idea.